April Fools’ Day Alive and Well on College Campuses

Yesterday, the Washington Post seriously addressed the issue of not-so-serious fake stories published in honor of April Fools’ Day by college newspapers. Profane, mean, and sometimes a little libelous, campus satire evidently isn’t quite dead yet.

But unfortunately, it’s a tradition with only a few holdouts daring to incur college administration wrath or risk offending readers and ending up in court.

Locally, GW’s Hatchet continues to publish an annual "spoof" edition. This year’s issue featured a headline story blaming the university president’s aggressive fist-pumping for damaging dorm ceiling tiles.

At the College of William & Mary, college president Taylor Reveley announced a new five-year plan for the school to reignite name recognition “through national controversy. The article was accompanied by a not-too-flattering picture of the president.

NYU’s Washington Square News is reporting that President John Saxton will be replacing Bill Clinton as the 2011 commencement speaker with pop sensation Rebecca Black (see video). The ceremony will be moved from Yankee Stadium to T.G.I. Friday’s.

The Maroon reports that the University of Chicago experienced its lowest acceptance rate yet. Of 21,669 applicants, only 35 or 0.16 percent were offered admission to the Class of 2015. And Rebecca Black was chosen over Justin Bieber and Kanye West to headline the annual Summer Breeze concert. “Black has really been a voice for our generation the past two weeks,” said undergraduate Arnold Wills.

YES! Weekly announced that the High Point City Council is disbanding, after “a lengthy and convincing PowerPoint presentation,” and the municipal government will be turned over to High Point university president Nido Qubein.

According to the Technique (“the south’s liveliest college newspaper”), Georgia Tech will be holding mandatory Saturday school sessions to make up for days canceled during the semester due to snow and ice. Students are also asked to choose between Charlie Sheen and Rebecca Black for commencement speaker. Now that could be awkward.

At the University of Georgia, a raging controversy erupted over an extra $200 charged to undergrads as an “institutional” fee. “There is no separate budgeting for the institutional fee,” said UGA senior associate vice president for finance and administration. It’s a fee without a specific purpose.

And the University of Maryland Diamondback joined the fun by reporting on a campus fundraising event during which university president Wallace Loh donned a red Speedo to wash cars as part of a plan to “cope with decreased state funding.”

Note that some of these links may be really slow to upload as news of the newspaper pranks spread across various campuses.